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I have been using the phrase “politely annoying” to describe myself for the past 7 years. My older brother would use the phrase “just plain annoying” to describe me for the past 30 years but that’s a different topic… 🙂

Before I dive into the different ways I try to be politely annoying, let me give you my definition of it.

Politely Annoying – the state of performing repeated actions to get what you want in a way that is respectful, well-mannered, and courteous.

If I want something at work or in life, I feel like it is good to be politely annoying. There are so many examples where this tactic can be used to your benefit. At work, when I am trying to get a response from someone, I send an email every so often (about once every 7-14 days).

When work was in-person, instead of emailing the person that wasn’t responding, I’d walk over to their desk to ask the question. Nowadays, I try calling them to see if I can get ahold of them. If they don’t pick up, then I leave a full, respectful message detailing what I want, and a return email and phone number.

These are simple, easy tactics that many people can employ in their work lives. In my personal life, I used these tools in a different way. When my old tax accountant wasn’t responding to emails, I started calling them about once a week asking for a return phone call. If they didn’t respond, I started calling once a day.

That sounds pretty annoying, right? It’s supposed to! But the difference between being annoying and politely annoying is in the messages I leave. Let’s dive into one example.

Contractors

I know everyone has had trouble getting ahold of contractors for their home projects. How have I been successful in the past? First, I always start with a contractor I have used before. That way I can begin the new communications with a reminder of who I am and how great their work was on the previous project they helped me with.

After I have jogged their memory of who I am, I sympathize with them and recognize the fact that they are probably very busy, which is why they couldn’t answer my call. Even if I know that is not true, (being busy is a subjective state of mind) they think they are busy which is all that matters in this situation.

Once they know who I am and know that I know that they are busy, I explain the situation I need help with. I tell them what I have tried without them and any other information that might make it helpful for them to quickly diagnose and fix the problem.

I then leave my updated contact information for them to reach me. Even if my email and phone number haven’t changed in over 10 years, I still say it is updated so they remember to look back at it.

This is a very respective and well-mannered message that takes into account all things necessary for the contractor to respond. I think it is a very polite message. If I don’t get any response from this message, I send a follow-up with an abbreviated message similar to this one (replying to the same email thread for instance) every week or so.

After 2 weeks and no emails, I start calling. My communication reach outs start occurring more frequently. This will become very annoying. That is the point. I am reaching out because I need something important to me. I really need it, hence my persistence. But I am being polite about my requests by following the format I listed above. Thus politely annoying.

Do the Unexpected

What do I do once I finally get a call back? I try to do the unexpected and WOW them. For example, I put in over 5 offers on condos before one got accepted. It was very demoralizing for me, but I kept pushing.

What was different about the 6^th offer? It wasn’t that I raised my offer that much higher. It was that I went the extra mile. As Darren Hardy said in his book The Compound Effect, “separate yourself by doing the unexpected.”

I separated myself by sending in a letter with my offer. But not just any old letter, I researched about the sellers. Trying to find out their interests, professions, and hobbies so that I could include them in my note.

I told them how I used to go to this great restaurant that recently closed down by the condo knowing that they had a connection with the owner. I told them about how I loved the neighborhood and its location to all of the dog parks knowing that they owned a dog. To top it all off, I put in a photo of myself riding my bike because I knew they were big cyclists.

How did I know all this about them? I researched online, social media, I reached out to different contacts who might have known them. I went to that restaurant a lot and remember the owner talking to a couple that looked like the sellers.

This is only the tip of the iceberg in terms of what I’ve heard other people do to woo sellers into accepting their offers. The point is, it is not what you do in the beginning that gets you the gold at the end of the rainbow. It is the persistent, unrelenting actions performed over and over again that gets you what you want.

There is a line between being rude or disrespectful and being politely annoying. To me, that is the way you craft your communications. Follow the format I gave above and that should keep you on the right side of the line.

Where in your life has being “politely annoying” worked?