It’s okay to not be okay

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It’s OK to not be OK

Michael Phelps to Simone Biles

There have been many top athletes in recent times that have been going through different mental health issues. These are relatively healthy people, who are in extreme physical shape but are not 100% mentally healthy.

Gymnast Simone Biles at the Olympics in July 2021. Professional Tennis Player Naomi Osaka at the French and U.S. Open 2021. Professional Golfer Matthew Wolff at the 2021 Masters. Even NBA star Kevin Love had an anxiety attack during a game in 2017.

There have been lots of people stepping up and speaking out about this invisible illness that professional athletes are grappling with. Most of them are other successful athletes like the Michael Phelps Foundation, or Professional Golfer Rory McIlroy’s recent comments about Biles, Osaka, and in an interview here.

There’s even a South Korean TV Series about mental health called, “It’s Okay to Not Be Okay,” and a Marshmello/Demi Lovato song released in September 2020 called “OK Not to Be OK.”

Needless to say, there’s been a lot of talk about this topic. I think that this is great and more people should be taking mental health seriously. For me, I have realized that having a therapist should not be so taboo and people should not feel self-conscious if they talk to one.

In the future, I hope that people will view seeing a Psychiatrist in the same way it is viewed going to a Primary Care Physician. One who will help take care of the physical pieces and one who will help take care of your mental pieces.

In our daily lives, we can get so caught up with trying to make sure everyone else is okay or that we are fulfilling all of our obligations in our career, friendships, and/or family life that we can forget to take a moment for ourselves when we are feeling a bit off.

Emotion Realizations

I have always tried to be the rock in our family. I try to mediate conflicts, not taking one side or the other, but just trying to diffuse the tension in the room. When something sad or upsetting occurs, I try to not show my emotions so that I can be a person that people lean on when they need support.

About 6 weeks ago, we went to see a spiritual leader in our faith for a coffee catch-up and this topic came up. I explained that I felt the responsibility to be strong for my wife and my family. To always be someone they can count on when they weren’t feeling well.

What the spiritual leader explained to me was that, for some people, showing that you are on the same emotional level can have a greater effect of inclusion and not have the other person feel alienated just because they are releasing their emotions.

So instead of me trying to hold steady, I could try crying when they are crying, or being frustrated with a current situation if they are. This helps to not get walked over when people disrespect you and you just blow it off as no big deal. Or it can help build relationships by connecting and sharing the same emotional response.

Now I grew up trying to be a “man” and the saying that “men don’t cry” was something that I thought was a real thing. But for me, I’m a bit of a sensy. JD from the TV show Scrubs describes what a sensy is pretty well.

With being a sensy, I sometimes get over-emotional during a movie or a tv show. The weird thing is, I have somehow been able to be in total control of my mental reactions during an emotional event in reality. I am trying to be a strong person.

Emotional Balance

Whether you are overly emotional and not emotional enough, I do know that each person and situation is different. It was usually huge news when professional athletes cried during post-game press conferences. Now, unfortunately, we are seeing Osaka do that more often which is very heartbreaking.

With more and more athletes taking mental health breaks, that is quite a luxury that most people don’t have. Osaka doesn’t plan on working (playing tennis) for an indefinite time to figure out her mental health. While I support her decision, she also has a net worth of over $25 million and is one of the highest-paid female athletes in the world.

It would be nice to be able to take that time off but most people can’t. So, what should they do? Do they suck it up and keep pushing through? Do they take the time off anyway and hope that things will work out?

There is something to be said for some mental fortitude though. I have only played team sports like basketball, baseball, or football. But for those that have played individual sports like golf or tennis, I am sure you know how mentally grueling it is and how incredibly lonely it can be.

Because all of the pressure is on you to succeed, you must have such mental toughness to forget the previous play, point, shot, or swing and move onto the next one. No one is out there coaching you and without the support of teammates, you must be the rock for yourself.

Tiger Woods and Roger Federer, two of the most successful athletes in golf and tennis, are not only known for their amazing physical fitness but their mental prowess as well. That is how Woods and Federer were so dominant for over a decade in their respective sports.

So where do you draw the line between being cognizant of your emotional well-being and being mentally tough to push through an all-nighter to prepare for that big presentation?

Dan@RichLifeHabits

I’m Dan! I started this blog to try to understand the keys and secrets to have a rich life. To me, rich doesn’t just mean monetarily successful but successful in all aspects of life. My top priority is to be rich in all areas of life. That means to be successful in gaining abilities, experiences, relationships, health, and, yes, even money as I live my life to its fullest. To me, that means there has to be some sort of balance.

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4 Responses

  1. Jordan says:

    I completely agree that taking care of your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Especially with how fast the world moves today and the continued uncertainty we all face, being aware of and honest with yourself about how you are feeling is essential to keeping a positive mindset and relationship with yourself and others. Great inspiration to start off the short week!

    • Thanks! There has to be a balance and always be honest with yourself. If you’re feeling off, do you take a moment to regroup, or do you push through? And how do you know?

      • Linda says:

        The key is knowing the level of stress to the mind in the same way we know physical stress. A skinned knee vs. stitches. One we stick a bandaid on and continue on with the day the other causes us to pause and prioritize. It’s more obvious and easy to make the physical call but both are just as important in preventing us to be well. Have you ever denied getting up light headed and almost fainting in that denial? That’s more similar to the way we tackle our mental wellness. It’s more of a gray area and less measurable. However, the more we take short pauses to “breathe” the more we will recognize the signs.

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