This is the third of the interview series where we ask people some of their most successful habits and some lessons learned along the way. See the previous interview here.

If you’d like to share your story with the Rich Life Habits community, please reach out here.

This interview was conducted in early April.

Questions are in bolded italics and the answers are right below the questions.

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Background

How old are you? Do you have a spouse/partner? Do you have any children?

I am a 65-year-old man with a wife of 42 years and three daughters.

What part of the country do you live in? (ex. Suburbs of mid-Atlantic city, rural mid-western town, downtown west-coast city)

I live in the suburbs of a Western New York city.

How would you define “a rich life”? What does “living a rich life” mean to you? Can you provide any examples on how your definition evolved to what it is today?

Living a rich life means that my relationships and activities have inherent meaning to me. Doing any activity with my grandchild or child, regardless of how routine or mundane, adds meaning to my life and thus is, by definition, worthwhile.

What are some daily/monthly/yearly habits that have helped motivate you to reach your goals and how have they produced results for you?

A monthly habit I try to keep is scheduling a coffee or meal with one or both daughters who live nearby.  They give us undistracted time to hear about each other’s lives and concerns.

Professional:

Business or Career part of life, aka your job

What are some habits that have helped you in your career/professional life? Can you provide some stories/examples of the habits?

As a physician, I took pride in being an empathetic and caring provider. This required being sharply attuned to my patients’ verbal and nonverbal cues to their feelings.  Being focused, calm and making the person feel like they were my most important concern while with me in the exam room was vital.  Patients angry, upset or anxious about their illness were best approached by showing them I was devoted to their best welfare. 

What are some habits that you wish you didn’t have during your career/professional life? Can you provide some stories/examples of the habits?

A habit I wish I hadn’t had was not spending more time developing friend relationships with some of my co-workers and learning about their families.

Family & Friends:

Those people you love unconditionally even if they drive you crazy // Like-minded people you choose to spend time with

How have you been able to keep healthy and long-lasting family & friend relationships?

Keeping immediate family relationships strong when living nearby, although the easiest, can still require effort.  It can involve intentionally calling to check in, or following up on something previously discussed.  For non-family friends, I’ve not been good at that. 

Why have some of your family & friend relationships not lasted?

While the relationships still exist, they’re not as deep as I’d have liked.  The non-family friendships have weakened simply from not making them a priority.   The bigger challenge is keeping any relationship going and strong when you don’t live nearby.

What habits (actions done repeatedly) have you used to keep family & friend relationships going?

A phone call or thoughtfully written note in a card can help.  I’ve become better about asking someone (family and non-family) how they are doing emotionally.  It may seem weird to ask that out of the blue, but I think it helps.

Physical

The body

At what point in your life were you the most physically fit? Why?

I was most physically fit in my 40s.

What was your schedule/life like during that time-period?

I was doing various sports with my children, and was doing almost all my home yard work on my own. I was also finding some time to exercise on my own. When I found free time, I tried to do physical activities that our kids would also find fun.

What habits did you use during that time-period? 

I developed very good eating habits and always drank very little alcohol.

Mental

Intellectual and cognitive parts of the brain

Are you able to stimulate your mind as much as you would like? Why or Why not?

While working I felt intellectually and cognitively stimulated, mainly related to the challenges of work and keeping a household running with my wife.  However, during those years the creative and imaginative part of my mind didn’t get enough stimulation.

What habits have helped/hurt you from being able to achieve your intellectual goals? Can you reflect on why you do these habits?

I didn’t make time to read except for occasional non-fiction, and did nothing musically.  I am now much better about this.  Habits that can help in this area:  joining a reading or music group that forces you to do those activities; maintaining friendships with people who have similar interests and discussing them; taking music lessons on an instrument you like or want to learn.

Spiritual

The soul of a person

How do you spend the time when you are doing things for yourself? How does each of these make you feel afterward?

Time for myself which helps clear my mind centers around music.  When exercising, listening to music focuses me on the exercise and how I’m feeling.  Playing music, although it requires concentration, helps clear my mind of other things.  Reading before going to sleep also allows my mind to drift.

Financial

The monetary situation

What habits do you use to keep your budget under control? What software/tools do you use if any?

We’ve always lived within our means.  This has meant never carrying any credit card debt, even for one month.  We’ll save ahead for planned large purchases.  Saving has included contributing the maximum allowable to retirement plans from the earliest years of working. We also used deferred compensation plans when available.  We don’t use any software tools.

How have you been able to increase your net worth? By earning/saving/investing more? How? Please provide examples.

Our net worth increase has come from spending modestly and saving consistently from the beginning, allowing us to avoid the temptation of aggressive and high-risk investing.

Conclusion

What is one piece of advice you’d give yourself when you were 18 years old?

Spend time with family members whenever you have the chance, especially grandparents and siblings, especially if they live nearby.  Don’t take those relationships for granted. When the opportunity to do something memorable together or to have a meaningful conversation arises, don’t let it pass.