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Letting Go of Control is a Sign of Trust Click to tweet

To let something go is to stop worrying about it. When I stop worrying about it, I can shift my mind to other matters. If I shift my mind off of it, I am inherently putting my trust in someone or something else to ensure that things will work out okay.

From that logic, I believe that when people let go of control, they are actually putting their trust in someone/something to complete the task.

For example, not worrying about a plane landing properly takes trust. We have to trust that a man-made plane being flown by pilots that we’ve have never met before will bring a ~144,000lbs metal tube traveling at ~145mph to safely to the ground. That is very hard for some people to do.

As an engineer, I love watching takeoffs and landings of aircraft. It is the most amazing engineering feat that we have become accustomed to. And I know things will generally work out okay because I have general knowledge about how planes fly.

Because I know these certain things, it is easier for me to trust that planes will work. I know that the physics of propulsion and air pressure differential creates lift that enables planes to fly. So, it is easier for me to trust that things will work out.

What happens if I am knowledgeable enough to know only the things that can go wrong and not the physics behind how planes work? I only know the bad things that could happen and not the good things.

If that were the case, I would definitely be worrying if the pilot checked every single screw on the plane to make sure none of them were loose. Or if we had enough fuel in the tank to get us to our final destination.

All of these thoughts are natural. And it is okay to have these feelings of worry because we can’t logically trust something that we don’t have knowledge about.

How to Trust Someone Else

We cannot be experts in everything. Just because I know the physical theory behind how planes fly doesn’t mean I how to fly a plane. I also have no idea how an internal combustion engine works but I still trust my mechanic to check out my car and tell me that it still works.

Both of these scenarios are examples of delegation to experts. If someone has proven that they know more about something than you do, then (logically speaking) you should be able to trust that person.

Getting into the semantics of how experts go about proving their knowledge is a story for a different time. Let’s just assume that they have proven it, like the fact that a pilot just flew a plane from another city and now is about to fly the plane you’re on.

So, if they’ve proven their knowledge, we can trust them to do what they say they’re going to do, therefore we can let go of responsibility. We don’t have to worry about it because the experts have it under control.

Delegation is a Leader’s Most Powerful Skill

Delegation is one form of letting go. This means that someone has passed responsibility for completing a task to you. Successful leaders of complex projects delegate extremely well.

We can learn how to delegate like the best of them. Leaders break down large endeavors into smaller tasks that can be allocated to different people. In our personal lives, we can also break down our large endeavors in a similar fashion.

For example, I am in the process of purchasing a new home with my wife. That is no small task. With all of the things going on in the real estate market and red tape in getting a loan, it can seem like a never-ending project.

Breaking it down into smaller tasks and telling my realtor to do something, I am trusting them to do it. We are trusting the lender to approve us for a loan prior to closing. We have trust that the inspector did his job properly and the builder did theirs and the title company did theirs. The list can go on and on.

But what did my wife and I have to do for this transaction to be successful? We had to let go of control from all of these pieces of the project because there is no way we would be able to do all of this on our own and keep our sanity.

It’s All Mental

At the end of the day, it’s all about freeing up mental space, time, and energy to focus on what really matters.

My wife and I want a comfortable starter home to grow our family. We want a reliable car to take us to our friends and family. We most definitely want a safe plane and pilot to take us on vacations to our favorite destinations.

But we all know what really matters. And that is… what color we should paint the walls. 😉