This post may contain affiliate links. Please read the disclosure statement for more info.

Confidence is the experience of success repeated over and over again

Denis Morton

Why do some people have more confidence than others? Are people just born with it? What is overconfidence? How is being confident related to being humble?

All of these questions came swirling through my head after my workout with Denis Morton. I thought long and hard about what he said, going past the purpose he intended the comment for.

As an athlete with a growing interest in cycling, I try to ride the Peloton bike in my apartment gym at least once a week. Denis is my favorite instructor because he is motivational, continually reminds me about my form/posture, and plays some great music.

For this particular ride, we were getting to the meat of the workout where people start to doubt themselves. Denis reminded us to push through and be confident in ourselves because we’ve done harder workouts before.

It was a pretty simple reminder but something that doesn’t come to mind immediately when all you can think about are how much your legs are burning and you’re gasping for air.

Confidence

Some people have it when others don’t is a line I’d like to dispute. I believe we all have confidence; it just needs to be revealed to us.

Once I complete a task successfully, I get a wonderful feeling of fulfillment. This feeling is only temporary though. The biggest reward for the accomplishment happens the next time I attempt a similar task.

For example, I grew up hating to read. I would never feel like sitting inside with a book. I’d be the one running around the neighborhood playing hide-and-seek with my friends.

Naturally, as I’ve grown up, the need and benefits of reading have forced me to change my mindset. When I finish one book, even one as small as The Richest Man in Babylon, I feel a sense of accomplishment.

From that one accomplishment, as little as it may be, my confidence grows and propels me to attempt a slightly larger/complex book. Throughout this year I have gotten through slightly longer books with deeper topics.

It might not seem like a big deal to most, but my current book, The Art of War, is going to be one of the biggest challenges for me to read. Not only am tackling a book with over 300 pages, but I’m also not a big history buff and have no understanding of ancient Chinese culture (a prerequisite for this book).

But because of the success I’ve had throughout this year, little successes that grew to bigger ones, I now feel confident that I can read, understand and benefit from the concepts in this book.

Overconfidence

There are certain times when confidence can be too much. Going to the extreme, thinking that you can jump a ledge that is way too far is probably a time to not be overconfident and use some caution.

This is a drastic example versus reading a more advanced book than I was ready for since the consequences of failure of very different. But what if I tried to buy an investment property with only having studied real estate for a couple of months?

I wouldn’t die if the investment goes south but we would lose a bunch of hard-earned money. Is that too big of a consequence for me to be okay with?

That threshold, that point when you’re not okay with the worst-case scenario is when confidence in a decision becomes over-confidence. And to everyone, that point is different.

I am okay with struggling through a hard book for a couple more hours than most. I am also okay with losing some money on an investment property knowing that, in the end, I am just paying for my education in the School of Hard-Knocks.

But I am not okay with losing all of my money on any type of investment deal. And I’m way too cautious to try to jump a cavernous ledge when I don’t have to. Those are my thresholds and they are not black and white. There is usually some grey area where I think to myself, “it depends.”

For each difficult decision I instinctively think, “What is the worst-case scenario?” and “Will I be okay if that scenario happens?” That is not to say I’ll be happy with the worst-case scenario but will I survive and not ruin my life with this one decision?

Confident versus Humble

Self-confidence is the belief in yourself to accomplish something. Being humble is having or showing modesty. Overconfidence can lead to arrogance, which is the exact opposite of humility.

So, what’s the line between confidence and humility? Not being overconfident and keeping to our threshold of a worst-case scenario.

Be confident in yourself that you can achieve what you set out to do. Be humble knowing that we are not superheroes and have limits to our abilities. Know that after practice and repeated successes, we will continue to grow and extend our limits past what we had originally thought possible.